Shakespeare and Love

"Love is too young to know what conscience is." 

Shakespeare opened Sonnet 151 with these words. I think it is one of the most beautiful lines of poetry I've ever read. In the poem, the suggested meaning is that a person in love can't tell right from wrong in his or her own actions. That such a person isn't fully aware of how he or she is behaving. 

We've all seen this at some point in our lives, and many of us have been that blissfully ignorant, lovesick jackass. You know how it goes. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy suddenly starts ditching his friends to be with girl, boy hurts friends' feelings. But it doesn't stop there, because eventually the "honeymoon phase" ends and boy acts like a pig around girl and hurts her feelings too. Maybe even worse, boy looks for opportunities to get his feelings hurt even when girl didn't mean to hurt them. (Please feel free to switch around the pronouns if you feel like I'm being a man-hater. I'm not, it just sounded smoother this way). It's very true that love can bring out the worst in us sometimes. The selfishness and insensitivity we hide from almost everyone have a way of coming out in our closest relationships. We're alone among all God's creatures in this respect. It's sad, really. 

But there is another sense in which this line of Shakespeare's rings true. As love grows deeper and more mature and less thickheaded, its owner gains some self-awareness. Rediscovering a sense of right and wrong in his or her own life, this person learns instead to overlook the transgressions of the object of his or her love. Boy stops acting like a pig and starts putting girl's wants in front of his own. Boy stops looking for ways to find fault with girl and starts assuming she has his best interests at heart. (Again, please read those last few sentences again with the pronouns reversed if it makes you feel better. This really does work both ways). It's all about trust in the end. At the beginning of a relationship - any relationship, not just the romantic kind - trust is hard. As it starts to be rewarded, it gets easier. Then, all of a sudden, it's almost effortless. 

And forgetting "what conscience is" as it pertains to others... it's a beautiful thing. To live unhindered by ultimate concern for self and ultimate distrust of others. To refuse to hold grudges against anyone, but to forgive without needing to be asked. To let go of the need to be right. This is love in the truest sense. The kind of love older Bibles translate as “charity.” 

I recently left Wyoming to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding back in Pennsylvania. Watching Lindsey and Chris look at each other as they said their vows, you could just tell that as far as they were concerned, the other could do no wrong. And that may be a negative statement at the beginning of a relationship - the whole love is blind thing - but when it's still true after the test of time, its meaning changes. It’s not that you ignore each other’s faults, but that you accept each other completely despite them. After you've seen the worst in someone, and they've seen the worst in you, and your worsts just don't matter anymore. It's a point most of us only reach with a very few people in life. 

How incredible, then, that Christ sees us this way from the very beginning, and without getting anything in return. He sees our worst in a way no person ever could, and yet he loves us more deeply and perfectly than people are capable of loving. 

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” - 1 John 4:10-11